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Hard Times Make You Strong. Good Times Make You Soft. Here’s Why
There’s a quote that captures one of the most important truths about personal growth: “Hard times make you strong. Good times make you soft.” It’s more than just a catchy phrase — it’s a reflection of how we develop emotional resilience, mental strength, and character through life’s inevitable ups and downs.
When you’re going through hard times — whether that’s a job loss, financial pressure, emotional burnout, or personal adversity — you’re forced to adapt. You dig deep. You show up even when it’s uncomfortable. These seasons of difficulty shape who you are. They sharpen your mindset, increase your self-discipline, and build the kind of grit that can’t be taught — only earned.
During these times, you develop emotional resilience, the ability to get back up when life knocks you down. You build mental clarity because you’re focused on survival or change. You create new habits out of necessity. You discover your real values — the things that matter most when everything else is stripped away. In short, hard times train you. And while the process is uncomfortable, the strength you gain becomes a foundation for future success.
Now, enter the flip side: the good times. When things are smooth — maybe your career is flowing, relationships are strong, your bills are paid — it’s easy to relax. And you should enjoy those seasons. But comfort has a downside. It can quietly convince you that discipline is no longer necessary, that effort is optional, and that growth can pause. This is the danger. The very strength built during hardship can slowly fade when not maintained.
When life gets easy, we tend to fall into autopilot. We skip workouts, let routines slip, procrastinate on goals, or stop taking risks. The fire that drove us during the hard times becomes a soft ember — not extinguished, but no longer pushing us forward. Comfort becomes a sedative. It dulls the edge we once sharpened through pain, hustle, and resilience.
There’s a generational quote that builds on this same idea: “Hard times create strong people. Strong people create good times. Good times create weak people. Weak people create hard times.” Whether we look at individuals, businesses, or even entire societies — this cycle plays out over and over. When times are hard, people rise. When life is comfortable, people relax. Eventually, the softness leads to a new set of challenges — and the cycle begins again.
So, how do you break the cycle? Or at least, how do you avoid becoming soft during the good times?
First, maintain the habits that built your strength in the first place. Keep your routines. Continue practicing discipline even when no one’s watching. Growth isn’t something you earn once — it’s something you maintain through intentional action. Set new goals, challenge yourself, and surround yourself with people who push you to level up, not just cheer you on.
Second, stay connected to others who are currently going through their own struggles. Offer help. Be a mentor. Support those in earlier chapters of their journey. This not only keeps you grounded, but it reminds you of the grit it took to get where you are — and how valuable it is to maintain it.
Third, reflect often. Revisit your “why.” Ask yourself whether your current comfort is making you more capable or slowly softening the sharpness you once fought to build. Gratitude is essential, but so is awareness. You can be both content and driven.
At The Modern Monkey, we believe in finding balance — between pushing yourself and taking care of yourself. Between honoring your rest and respecting your potential. Growth doesn’t stop when the struggle ends. You just have to choose to keep it going.
So, the next time life feels easy, ask yourself: Am I staying sharp? Or am I slipping into softness? You don’t need a crisis to grow. You just need the mindset that chooses challenge, intention, and resilience — even when things are going well.
Hard times will always be part of life. But whether the good times soften you — or sharpen you even further — is up to you.
Keep moving forward.
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Staying Grounded When the System Shakes You
When the values of your governing body feel out of sync with your own, it can take a real emotional toll. The stress, frustration, and disillusionment that come from watching leadership make decisions you disagree with—especially on deeply personal or moral issues—can leave you feeling powerless or even hopeless. You’re not overreacting. This emotional stress is very real, and it’s something many people experience during periods of political or social turbulence.
The first step toward managing this stress is to acknowledge it. Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling—whether it’s anger, sadness, anxiety, or numbness. These emotions are signals, not signs of weakness. Naming them can help you process them: “I feel disappointed,” or “I feel betrayed.” Recognize those emotions without judgment, and understand they come from caring deeply about the world around you.
It’s also important to pay attention to your mental diet. Constant exposure to bad news, outrage on social media, or debates with people who don’t share your values can overload your nervous system. While it’s important to stay informed, setting boundaries around media consumption can help protect your emotional health. Consider limiting news to 30 minutes a day, muting accounts that amplify your stress, and choosing trustworthy sources over sensationalism. Curate your information the same way you would your food—something that fuels you, not drains you.
Connection can be a powerful antidote to isolation and helplessness. Reach out to people who share your values, whether in your local community or online. Join a group, attend an event, or just talk to a friend who understands how you feel. Even small acts of connection can help restore your sense of solidarity. You’re not alone in your frustration, and being reminded of that can be healing in itself.
One of the most empowering ways to push back against emotional stress is through action. Taking action—no matter how small—can help you regain a sense of control. This doesn’t mean you have to become a full-time activist. Maybe you volunteer once a month, write a letter to a representative, support a nonprofit, or educate friends and family. Action turns anger into momentum, and it reminds you that your voice still matters.
When the outside world feels chaotic, personal rituals can provide structure and calm. Daily practices like journaling, walking, meditation, or even something creative like painting or gardening can help ground you in the present moment. These routines don’t solve systemic issues, but they help you stay mentally strong enough to face them. Protect these rituals—they’re your emotional anchor.
It’s equally important to separate your identity from the actions of the governing body. When leaders make decisions that feel harmful or unethical, you may feel a sense of personal failure or guilt, especially if you feel you’re not doing enough. But you are not the system. You are a human being trying to live your values in an imperfect world. Focus on being an example of the change you want to see, even if that’s through small, daily choices in how you speak, vote, care, and lead.
And remember: rest is essential. Activism and awareness are emotionally demanding. Taking breaks, unplugging from social media, spending time in nature, or simply laughing with friends—these are not luxuries, they’re tools for long-term resilience. You don’t need to be “on” all the time to make a difference. Burnout helps no one.
Finally, try to hold a long-term perspective. History shows us that progress is rarely linear. Sometimes it takes a step back before it moves forward again. You are living in a chapter, not the whole story. The systems in place today may not reflect your values, but that doesn’t mean they never will. Keep hope alive, not as a passive wish, but as an active choice. Speak hope out loud. Share good news. Celebrate the small wins. Believe in change, even if it’s not immediate.
In moments of political or social disconnection, remember this: you still have agency. You still have your values. And you still have the power to live them fully, even in resistance. When the world feels out of alignment, that’s when your clarity, your compassion, and your courage matter most.
Keep moving forward.
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Why Knowing Yourself is Key for Success
We've all dealt with someone at work who rubs us the wrong way. They never listen to feedback, can't empathize with colleagues, and have an inflated view of their own performance. Chances are, these co-workers lack self-awareness - the ability to accurately understand one's strengths, weaknesses, and impact on others.
Though we can't force self-awareness on others, developing it within ourselves is one of the most powerful things we can do for our careers and relationships.
To grow, we need input from others on how we're showing up. But for critical feedback to land, we must be open to hearing it. Self-aware people have the humility to accept they have blindspots, whereas the unaware get defensive at the mere hint of criticism. When we know ourselves, feedback feels less threatening.
Seeking regular input from trusted sources can help boost self-awareness. Ask for targeted feedback on your leadership style, communication tendencies, or collaboration skills. Be prepared to hear hard truths and thank the giver for their candor. Avoid justifying your behaviors and instead reflect on what may be driving them.
Understanding our own motivations and triggers gives us insight into how others operate. Self-aware people can "read the room" and adjust their style because they appreciate different personalities and work styles. Unaware people struggle to take others' perspectives.
Practice empathy by getting curious about what makes colleagues tick. Notice their work habits, communication preferences, and approaches to common problems. Avoid making assumptions. Ask clarifying questions to better understand their challenges and priorities. Reflect on times you acted without empathy so you can choose more supportive responses next time.
Knowing our natural tendencies means we can thoughtfully adapt our communication approach. Do you fall into using unhelpful sarcasm when stressed? Are you too blunt in emails? Self-knowledge helps us override ineffective habits and fine-tune our delivery based on context.
Analyze your common communication pitfalls and emotional triggers. What situations reliably make you act ineffective or abrasive? Become vigilant about pausing before reacting in those moments. Consider the other person’s perspective and what tone and style would serve the relationship best. Save charged conversations for in-person rather than digital channels.
Working well with others necessitates understanding team dynamics and our role. Self-aware people know when to check their egos, step up, or stay quiet. They pause before reacting and consider what will best serve the team.
Note when you tend to dominate team discussions or not speak up enough. Track the outcomes when you consciously modify your approach. Do more listening or dissenting voices emerge when you talk less? Are decisions of higher quality when you contribute your perspective? Adjust your collaboration style over time based on what works.
So, how do we become more self-aware? Here are a few research-backed tips:
1. Seek feedback from trusted colleagues on your specific behaviors and impact. Listen with an open mind and ask clarifying questions rather than justifying yourself.
2. Reflect regularly through journaling, meditation, or walking in nature. Look for patterns in your emotional responses to gain insight into your triggers and blind spots. Unpack what drives your perfectionism, need for control, or other tendencies.
3. Notice your self-talk and beliefs. We often make inaccurate assumptions about ourselves and the world that fuel unaware behaviors. Challenge your inner narrative to align with reality rather than self-protective distortions.
4. Take personality assessments to uncover natural strengths, work style preferences, and areas for growth. Combine insights from multiple tools for a more complete picture.
5. Work with an executive coach who can share candid observations and collaboratively explore development areas through questioning and reflection. An outside professional perspective provides invaluable self-awareness.
6. Completely unplug from work periodically to gain mental space for self-reflection. Extended time offline fosters internal rather than external awareness.
7. Observe how your energy and focus fluctuate during the workday. Notice when you are most productive, distracted, drained, or energized. Reflect on what activities or situations precede the shifts.
Developing self-awareness takes courage, commitment, and daily practice. But the personal growth and professional benefits are immense. Rather than spinning our wheels trying to "fix" unaware colleagues, let's focus first on achieving self-mastery. The rewards for investing in our self-knowledge are well worth the effort.
Keep moving forward,
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Did you know...
- The word "gymnasium" comes from the Greek word "gymnos," which means "naked." In ancient Greece, athletes often trained and competed in the nude.
- The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
- The world's most expensive coffee, Kopi Luwak, is made from coffee beans digested and excreted by the Asian palm civet, a small mammal.
- The "M's" in M&Ms stand for "Mars" and "Murrie," the last names of the candy's founders, Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie.
- The world's quietest room, called the anechoic chamber, is located at Microsoft's headquarters in Washington State. The background noise is measured at -20.6 decibels.
